Latte & Panda

17. Do you have any pets?

My remaining babieeeesssss. 

B for Baesian

16. How has your school life been throughout the years?

2003 - Award for Commitment to Sports, Abraham Moss High School
2004 - Bass player, Steel pans, for annual High School Performance
2005 - Olahragawati, Sekolah As-Solihin
2006 - Award of Excellence, Academics, for PMR, SMKS9
2007 - Award of Excellence for Cocuriculum, SMKS9
2008 - Head of Track Team, school sports house, SMKS9
2008 - Malaysia Representative, Formula 1 in Schools World Championships
2008 - Award of Excellence, Academics, for SPM, SMKS9
2008 - Award of Excellence for Cocuriculum, SMKS9
2008 - Graduated with SPM, SMKS9
2010 - Dean's List Award, UiTM
2010 - Dean's List Award, UiTM
2012 - Bronze Medal, Women's Individual Pool Event, Swimming, UiTM
2013 - Bronze Medal, Certified Indoor pool lifeguard, Life Saving Society Malaysia & UiTM
2012 - Dean's List Award, UiTM
2013 - Dean's List Award, UiTM
2013 - Graduated with a Bachelor of Sciences in Architecture, UiTM
2015 - Failed two course modules, failed first year of Masters
2017 - First Class Distinction for Masters Thesis, University of Greenwich
2017 - Graduated with a Masters in Architecture, University of Greenwich

A pretty colourful curriculum vitae, excluding several other co-curicular activities (because I had to omit out several certificates in my folder 😅 sorry debate, theatre, hockey..) and other non academic pursuits.  My piece de resistance being that snafu in 2015 that sort of signified an underworld of issues, but I digress. I've always felt that having a perfect record seemed too polished. You gotta go against the grain and fail once in a while.  

Layers and layers and layers

15. Do you believe teenagers can fall in love?

Depends on your definition of love. 

Trio

13. Three favourite words

i. Home

ii. Incandescence

iii. Wild card one, but Pizza's been pretty significant

Pretty simple actually

12. How do you feel about making friends over the internet 

Given mutual respect, I feel good about making friends anywhere :) 

Languor

11. Do you dream often? Describe one of your dreams

My morning slumbers have always produced elaborate, nonsensical escapades. 

But there's that recurring dream of having my teeth fall out, a feeling and imagery that's visited my languors a number of times throughout the years. I've been having them recently and, as usual, they leave me feeling quite wary. 

Somniabunt

10. Best trip of your life? 

Réves.

I can't emphasise how much I wish to witness these views myself. 

I've dreamt of this trip since I was 16? 18? 19? years old. 

There's something about being in the presence of such awe inducing landscapes that's as impotent as a drug for me. In the past few year's I've managed to traipsed ice and glaciers, camped out in the dry desert, lavished in the tropical humidity of my home country, even enjoy the signature sea and breeze of the mediterranean region. Yet the planes of South America and Africa eludes me. I know I've to be patient, and trust in the universe's structure of reward and its impeccable timing. 

In the mean time, here's Chiara Zonca's photography from her trips around the Chilean and Bolivian altiplano. 

One day, InsyaAllah, one day. 

Contents

9. What's in your bag/wallet? 

To be frank.

Honoris

8. What is your dream job, and why?

At the age of 12, I wanted to be a writer. An illustrator. A photographer. And work with National Geographic or Reader's Digest. 

At the age of 14 I became a published author. My story The Sight of Freedom was sold nationwide as part of an anthology for Malaysia's Independence Day at MPH Bookstores.

At the age of 18 I became a journalism intern. I went on assignments with photographers and wrote articles for corporate magazines, for companies including Malaysia Airports and KPJ Hospitals.

At the age of 19 I became a social media intern. I organized city-wide flashmobs, handled clients' online accounts, including Digi and Talentcorp, and went for tv and radio interviews. 

Also at the age of 19 I became ambassador to the Selangor State Library. I assisted in their illustrations, videography, narrated their montages, and presented works to the state sultan. 

At the age of 20 I became I became a food reviewer. I was tasked with writing gastronomical articles and photographing cuisine in restaurants all over Klang Valley.

At the age of 21 I became a newscaster. I edited, read, shot coverage and special features, hosted roadshows, and greeted ministers for the biggest national media network in Malaysia, RTM. 

At the age of 24 I became an Instagram marketer in UK. I worked with reputable brands including Daniel Wellington, Waitrose and even Starbucks, was paid to attend events, shoot products, and post them on my account.  

At the age of 25 I became a travel consultant. I was selected to be part of a band of travellers who brought clients around all over the world. My first job was with a VIP client for a 3 week trip around Europe. 

At the age of 26, I want to have my own chain of hotels by the age of 51. I want to at least, even once, work with National Geographic, UNICEF, and Malaysia Airlines. I want to contribute to the tourism industry and cultural heritage in Malaysia. And at this point, I need to figure out how to get there. 

160318

7. Things that make you happy

I won the life lottery with my loved ones, hands down. 

Crush

6. Who was the last person you had a crush on and how long did it last

You adore me

In 15 minute takes

In dark spaces

In gasping breaths

You love me

At 3am

When it's convenient

And everyone's asleep

Results

5. What's currently on your mind

Alhamdulillah!!

It's getting better though

3. What are some things you have trouble doing

'Swapping the sea of slumber for the sea of sighs'. 

I'm looking for someone

4. 7 signs you're into someone

I'm looking for someone who's always polite, but still got the ability to be rude,
And I'm looking for someone who watches what she eats, but still finishes her food,
Honestly, I'm looking for someone who values trust and honesty,
And I'm looking for someone who hears the word "Homer" and thinks The Simpson and The Odyssey.
I'm looking for someone to be the co-captain of my team,
Someone who's gorgeous in a dress, sexy in her jeans,
I'm looking for someone that I'd catch a grenade for, wait, That reference might be a couple of years too late,
So I'm looking for someone that I would love to have as a roommate,
And I'm looking for someone to date today cause tomorrow might be too late.
I'm looking for someone who loves nature, someone who literally wouldn't hurt a fly,
I'm looking for someone who's got it all figured out, someone who's not afraid to die,
I'm looking for that somebody with the body with the booty, and I don't need to lie,
Cause I'm a simple kind of guy, but in the end I'm still a guy.
I'm looking for someone who can handle my parents, cause I'mma let you in on a secret, both of them are fucking insane.
And my mum's family tree has over a hundred living family members, I'm expecting her to remember all their names.
I'm looking for someone that won't stop me from playing, but rather join in on my games,
And I'm looking for someone who wears a shawl and a lip piercing, just so I know that she's going against the grain.
I'm looking for someone who's a person of faith, it doesn't have to be Islam, I just want to know that she believes in something.
And I'm looking for someone who's strong enough to fight, but sees the humility in running,
I'm looking for someone to cuddle with at night, and someone to tuck in,
And I'm looking for someone to be my sun when she comes up, and my moon when she comes in.
So if you know someone, remind me to remind you to remind her,
Cause I would do anything for my everything, even if it takes everything to find her.

-  a poem by Muhammad Zafir

Mission Possible

2. 5 not so basic things about you 

In lieu of my present existential state; that is, on my path to achieving several goals*, I'm noting my current top 3 life missions, and an additional 2 I'm really thankful for...

1. Becoming a Canon EOS Youth Ambassador 

2. Travel Host under Paranormal Network

3. Part time travel writer Have Halal, Will Travel

4. My current full time job with the IO Movement. 

5. My freelance part time job with  Awesome Adventure

 *a.k.a. really really really praying for these opportunities to work out. InsyaAllah, may he guide me to what is best for me and my growth. Come on, 2018. 

A Tale of Two Cities

1. The difference between your personal and internet life

Despite officially living in London for the past three years, I think the bulk of my growth, my sense of self, and my spirit is anchored to Brighton. This picturesque, quirky seaside city was witness and host to a medley of my significant experiences. This is where my love and my disasters happened, where I learned to earn and stand on my own two feet in UK, where I fostered friendships and the closest thing to a family far away from home. There's so much of me and my life in England that's scattered all over the routes from Falmer to Churchill Square to the Station, that fundamentally, it's probably where I learned to grow up in my early 20s.

I recognize this phenomenon as the separation of formalities. From my public self and all its shared visage in Greenwich, versus the private, quiet life I lead most momentously in Brighton. The glitz that often stars on my social profiles - the awe inspiring view from my Cutty Sark apartment, coupled with a student life in one of the most beautiful campuses in the world, is undeniably a part of me, but its one that I also consciously uphold. But the other me - the one that takes the no. 25 bus to town, squatting on her friends' floors, cooks, cleans, works double shifts endlessly and scrapes her arms over various kitchen chores in the restaurant - this was version that most imperatively allowed me to retain my personal identity away from what was expected of me.

Despite London's iconic attributes the respite Brighton offered me is one that I will eternally cherish.

That is how it is

40. Talk about the end of something in your life

Open. A very brief note - there will always be doors. There will be countless and countless of doors, an infinity, an eternity, an endless corridor, room, house, palace - whatever you name it - of doors. Opening and closing, appearing and disappearing, changing, moving, staying still. And your purpose in this space is to chose whether you want to open them or not. It's a simple fact - to open or to close - either way, it will lead to consequences, and that is how it is. 

Over time, some doors lock, and disappear. Other times, you can always return and open an old door. Most times, new doors just keep multiplying in an array of directions, and you get lost in an evolving dimension of doors, never really returning to any past door. But this specific question deals with the closed doors. The ones that you know you shouldn't, or will never, or can't open again. They may have closed softly, gently, with a sigh of relief and calm. Or they banged shut, rattling, echoing, with the key burning before you threw it away. 

The thing to keep in mind, whenever a door closes is that - there will always be another door. A new, better, worse, different door. That for whatever reason it closed - it closed for a reason. And you can spend as much time as you like wondering why it sealed, without changing the fact that it did seal. It's termination may have affected you drastically, to the brink of breakage, or not at all - but the point remains, that at one point, you may just have to, get up, turn around, walk away, and go on to the next door. Close.  

There, that dust

39. Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier

A way to make diamonds from my stars. 

Antigraviti

37. Talk about someone you thought you were in love with

I plunged down that tragic abyss of falling for an idea.

It was warped - my reality was twisted and pulled and stretched into a spiraling cobweb that I am still, even now, slashing to dust. Because, fundamentally, I'm a sucker for fantasies. I'm a moth to the light of sweet nothings, and promises of grand romantic gestures. I'm a iron filling to the magnet of considerate thoughts and soft voices. I'm a speck in the universe to the black hole of endless possibilities, to breathless, agonied takes, to entire lifelines hanging on the possible conception of 'love'. Blind, deafening love. Exit: pursued by bear

Alternate realities

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures

9:26pm: I feel like shouting out my love to you from the rooftops to the world.