Ignis

Ardus Ad Solem // Striving for the Sun

At any given point in a child's life, he or she would have been recipient of the sentiment "why can't you be more like so and so?" It is an inevitable fact in the culture of parenting to present children with a stellar example of a peer for them to compare themselves, with intentions of igniting some form of motivation and encouragement. In exceptional cases, children rise to the occasion and beat the grades and athletic talent out of the (innocently unaware) competitor, but undeniably it also plant seeds of resentment, a mild scattering of jealousy, and a sense of self inadequacy. 

I suppose in tenderer years, it's understandable to compare yourself to someone else. The categories for rivalry are limited - school grades, sports, social popularity. They're easily measured in terms of As and Cs, shiny gold medals, and the number of social media friends and party invites. It's not completely irrelevant, because youth who partake in events grow confidence and communication skills. It's the act of constantly comparing and being compared to others that's the dark horse here - it means time and energy spent, pondering the reasons why you're not as good, cool, pretty or smart as so-and-so. 

The worse part of this sort of mentality is that it's eventually carried down to later years - know that office colleague who annoys and complains incessantly? That group member in college who was an incredibly two faced asshole in front of the teacher? The super competitive douche in the gym? The main sentiment was that you're all against each other, or at least someone else, and you must do whatever you could to make sure you emerge as the best in the situation, be it in black and white, in monetary and muscular gain, or in social invites and standing. The world is a racing track, the gold is the goal. But here's the thing: the racing track only exists in your mind. Because in the adult world, everyone is taking different sports. 

Sol Est Mea // The Sun is my Own 

Someone once said to me the trick to being the best was not in comparing to others, but yourself. It isn't in wanting to be a replica or imitation of someone else, but in finding the good parts of the person which you'd want to cultivate. Basically, you can't judge yourself circle to circle with another person, because maybe you're a mix of circle and triangle, and they're probably not even a circle, but a square and hexagon - and only in your ultimate quest, you've trapped yourself with the idea of another human being, beyond what they really are, more than the potential of your own. It's been said and done, but no one's perfect. Not them, not you. 

In the real world, while competition is often played subtly, it's still useless to have yourself, entirely, pitted against someone else. That national gymnast trained since she was five for the SEA Games silver medals, the guy who spoke 7 languages lived in 5 countries following his diplomatic ambassador father around, that aunty could sew beautifully because she took a part time job at a wedding dresser's in her youth. They have strengths stemming from their own personal backgrounds and characteristics - and it's important to remember that while you might not have what they possess, you have your own talents to bring to the table as well.  

The bottom line to competition is to recognize your own strength and weakness. To work against the flaws, to grow the good qualities. It's not to put someone down, but to aspire in attaining their better attributes. Find someone, or something, that is positively beneficial. Find the person whose advise you can rely on, a person whose achievements you'd train to have, a person who can be brutally honest with you. These can all be ten different people from ten categories of life - have the super parenting and patience of one, the cooking flair of another, the fashion style of the other. You are not a singular piece of paper, nor the product of a monotonous training - because you are the amalgamation of all these influences you've experienced in life. You control what you become.