Adieu

I hate to even have this presence here, but hallmarks are hallmarks. 

The battle in this past two months have required me to excavate the deepest pools of my resourcefulness and grace. It took almost everything I had, to retch out the churning, violent emotions that were festering inside me like a moulded, sick pus. To lay bare the vomitus and vitriol for everyone to see.  There is a part of me that is still in unnerving disbelief, choosing instead to detach myself from the momentous relief of this outcome. Exteriorly, mounds and mounds of people are celebrating, cheering things like finally and this is a win for everyone. Internally, I am just acknowledging that I will be forever (but not irreparably) scarred from this whole ordeal. There is so much in me to address, to untangle, to rebuild. I am still unsure of who I am after all this, of the person I am to become. But there is space and there is time. And there is love. So by the grace of Allah. I will be better.