Friday, January 31, 2025

5 doors of January

 1. “Life’s aim, indeed, was to be experience itself, and not the fruits of experience, sweet or bitter as they might be.”  

- Picture of Dorian Gray, hl. 10 January 2025

This puts forth the motion that life is meant to be fully indulged, regardless of the consequences. As immersive and tangible as this proposition persuades, obviously, there is a heft to having aims and accountability, that makes us find meaning within our actions, and form deeper connections. Despite my natural stance that every action is transactional, relationships and purposeful pursuit give depth to our character, and to spend a lifetime just exploring experiences without creating a deeper meaning seems like an entry level inquiry, that only benefits you. There is nothing wrong in this (unless it is at the expense of others), it's just that a person with an acute awareness of the variety of the world has the ability to seek, give or create more definition. 


2.  This may be the fundamental problem with caring a lot about what others think: It can put you on the established path—the my-isn’t-that-impressive path—and keep you there for a long time. Maybe it stops you from swerving, from ever even considering a swerve, because what you risk losing in terms of other people’s high regard can feel too costly.

- Michelle Obama, Becoming, hl. 12 January 2025

A core anchor to knowing yourself lies in understanding the perimeters of your desires and capabilities, and assessing how it aligns to your context to serve your future self. In an environment where 'swerving' is not as admired or encouraged as a conventional, linear trajectory, it takes a courage to take the concept under consideration. The biggest challenge of swerving is the risk of failing within an unknown territory, especially since failure is more visible than the act of trying. Swerving opens up avenues into doubt - not only from yourself but from others around you, who will question and judge your past decisions and your current state, forming views of your performance within a finite ideological trap, through the restrictive lens of societal norms. The only cure for this is to swerve regardless, to be absolutely convinced that for a different outcome to occur, you need to take a different path. And ultimately, to be assured that, at the end of the day, so what? 


3. "If chance will have me king, why, chance may crown me Without my stir"

- Macbeth, hl. 15 January 2025


So many sentences in literature confesses the same sentiment - most particularly the quote from Imam Ghazali “What is meant for you, will reach you even if it is beneath two mountains. And what is not meant for you will not reach you even if it’s between your two lips.” I've loved the notion so much, finding it's connection to Qada' and Qadar, to Kun Fa Ya Kun, to destiny, fate, and purpose. However, the issue with Macbeth was his blind confidence into the notion, not realising that concepts exist as ephemeral ideas, that there are so many ways for a thought, a word, or a win, to manifest. Currently, much like Macbeth, with delirious optimism, I'm fighting the idea of wanting to simply sit back and let fortune take its course. However there should be a discount of the power of Dua, of Free Will, of the ability to influence a material change within the spheres of providence. In comic terms I guess it's understanding that canon events may happen, but there can exist variations to the story, depending on your actions. Destiny will arrive at the doorstep regardless of desires; but it is up to us to shape how it unfolds. 


4. "In those streets everyone moved faster than me, but what they didn’t know was that I had already moved too fast, too far, and wished to travel no further. I’ve been thinking a great deal about time and motion lately, about being a still point in the ceaseless rush."

- Sea of Tranquility, hl. 20 January 2025

There are moments these days where I consider that I have seen too much of the world. In these short years of my life I have lavished in both luxury and war, I have immersed in remote, cold mountain villages, in the dry Sahara dessert, flourishing with stars, in exotic private islands, in barren refugee camps. There is not much in terms of geography that feels novel. In my latest travels, echoes of past experiences are scattered around the itinerary, "I have seen this before, I have lived here", and I find myself with a touch of weariness. Around me everyone is still climbing or pursuing or driving. I am aware that this is simply a case of having achieved a majority of my childhood dreams, and that the cure is to simply opt the lens of gratitude, and steer ahead with goals anew. But for this entry I am just acknowledging my privilege, my emotions, and letting it pass through me. That aside, sometimes being in the present, really being in the present, requires you to just be and observe the world moving around you. And sometimes, that is enough. 



5. Need to love a man.. but a real man.. a man who could sweet pme off my feet without resorting to brute strenght.. without asking anything of me, without controlling me, or degrading me, a man who could love me and walk by my side.. In other words, a truly powerful man, a real man

- Madonna in a Fur Coat, hl. 8 January 2025


The quest for the definitions of love still eludes me. 

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