Sink your teeth deep into this one

28. Talk about your fetishes

The short gist of this is:
 I carry a penchant for people with big dreams.

A forever state of mind, is my doe eyed admiration for people of intellect and grace. I've always envied these phoenix of forms, their coveted minds brimming with elixirs of knowledge and their physique glowing with elegance. They possess the sort of finesse that cloaks a person naturally, effortlessly, without the person ever acknowledging its beautiful rarity. The grandeur of their stance is even more perfected, not by their glorying in mastery, but an enhancement through the acknowledgement of their flaws.

I try my best to gravitate myself to this sublime selective. To somehow merge, mold, my state of awareness to a certain promising level. If you want to be knowledgeable, they say, attain knowledge. A person cannot simply preach or covet without fully understanding what it is that they are engaging. Lamentably, what intellection I've gathered, is hard to be reflected upon in reality. There are more ingénues of shallow beauty and perfection, fawns of self dejection in my immediate realm of acquaintance than parallel purveyors of critic.  

It is a given scarcity for me to encounter someone that I'm able to, at the very least, be intellectually interested in. For me to uphold thought provoking conversations, for me to simply want to delve into their minds and discover their hypotheses and philosophies. For me to be sidetracked, spellbound, aggrandised by the way they sift through certain notions and opinions. It is these wolves in a flock of sheep that will end up controlling the herd. And to put it simply, I do not want to be herded. I want to be heard.

- December, 2011. 

Collective grace and inspiring auras are undoubtedly an enviable state of being. I can't say my fetish for people with illuminated minds have diminished, but the attraction has morphed for a more streamlined class. With the addition of age, the realisation that certain life pursuits require investments, self sacrifice, and technical training becomes more apparent. You become the result of your efforts. You will grow into the person you have trained yourself to be, shaped by your experiences both on the streets and within industrial office walls.

In light of this, my appreciation for actual 'skills' has become more substantial. As much as an air of encouragement can be moving, it is so much more compelling to actually move. To be the doers and shakers who are out there chasing their dreams, who are creating careers and pursuing passions, who are both failing and succeeding. Respect and success are the rewards that come when you have paid your dues. This is a simple reminder to myself, more than any, that if you want to accomplish your dreams, you have to put in the work for it. Every step that you take now, every second that is counted, should be in line with the goal that you want to achieve.

- January, 2015.