LDP Highway, 14 April 2025, 4pm.
To love yourself enough to grow is to be present for your own deaths.
Returning home I am reminded of a version of me that could’ve been. I find myself measuring my metaphorical size based off the threads that my peers have tailored themselves into. They all hold similar silhouettes, a respectable number of button holes, stylish stitches. With every interaction, I’m more aware of how far I have diverged from their shapes, painstakingly fabricating myself to my own suit. It looks different. It hangs oddly. There is room for me to shift into, or a line I need to tuck. I know that ultimately it is my own creation. And while I would choose this fit over and over again, while I do not regret my decision to move to London - when I go back and see their patterns, I know it is something I miss.
It is possible to both celebrate and mourn this love.
Tears on my cheek while Under the Magnolia Tree by Pale Jay plays.
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